Monday, August 23, 2010

Weaning Winston from Me to Nursery

 My kids do not transition to nursery very well. I don't know why, it's not like I'm constantly holding my kids, or having them sleep with me, or anything that makes them overly attached to me that they never want to leave my side.They just don't like it. I finally got Quinn to go to nursery and not cry like a whole month before having Winston. Our ward in Pullman had one of those doors you can open just the top, so they kept their nursery doors always open like that. I got him used to it by staying outside the door but where he could still see me, then I had him help me get a chair, and told him I would be sitting in the chair outside the door. If he cried I would just pop up and show him it was okay, I was still there. I tried to build the sense of security and that I would come back. It worked and I had that little month break enjoying my classes without a child to tend to.

Winston has been ten times worse. He does not give up when he's crying and upset, so there is no leaving him there to let him cry it out, like everyone wants you to do. I served in our nursery in Moses Lake, and he would cry every week when it was time to go, and I was in there with him. Then he would cling to me and not want to leave my side half the time. It was a HUGE nursery, and I think he didn't like that many kids around.

Since we've moved, he's better at playing in nursery and he doesn't cling to me, but I still haven't been able to leave. I have not yet gone to Relief Society in our new ward, which is so very sad. I don't barely know anyone still! I'm sooo tired of sitting in nursery and not going to church so that I get to be uplifted, besides by all the cute kids, which I do enjoy them, I'm just need some grown up time. The nursery has a very little window on the door. I decided that I would try the same concept I did with Quinn. While Winston was distracted I snuck out. Just a few minutes later, well probably seconds, he was crying for me. I opened the door and showed him where I was. He didn't like it, so I showed him where I was looking. I shut the door and showed him that I was going to stand right there at the window and watch him, let him look through the window and pretended I was waving at him and saying "Hi Winston". He eventually decided he'd go back in.
(Taken with my lovely high quality camera phone)

I stood with my face at the window for like the first 45 minutes. He was totally checking up on me and would look to see that I was there. He came crying once to it, and I showed him that I was just outside and had him look through the window again, than he went back in. I eventually stepped away, and stood by the door. At one point he started crying and his teacher brought him up to the door, knocked and I waved at him, then he was good. After standing for nearly an hour, I got myself a chair and sat down. He still had to check up a time or two to make sure I was keeping my promise of being there.

I was at least able to read a lesson out of the Gospel Principles book on my itouch. I'm sure everybody that walked by thought I was playing games or texting on my cell phone, but it was great to have some peace and quiet to be able to read it. At least I could take away something from church. I had several people try telling me to just leave and go to class and he would be fine and was doing fine, but I know Winston. If he figured it out, I'd have to start all over. I wasn't going to break his trust and security the first time. I think I'll do it one more week like that, and then go to class. I'm glad I finally figured out what I need to do to get him comfortable with it. He did such a great job and such an improvement in just this week. I know in no time I will be able to enjoy sitting with Matt in Sunday School and meeting new friends in Relief Society. 

2 comments:

Nicole said...

We have the exact same problem at our house. Jonas starts crying when we sing the closing song in Sacrament Meeting (it's first) because he knows that Nursery is next. He cries for most of class. I hate it, but Devin teaches Sunday School, and I teach YW, so we can't stay with him. He comes home every Sunday with red puffy eyes and the hiccups from crying so hard. It's the worst. It doesn't help that we have church at 1:00 which is exactly his nap time. I can't wait for 9:00 to come next year!!!!
Good Luck :) I wish our Nursery had a window on the door! That would probably help J. We have 2 nursery's because we have so many kids so they shoved J's nursery into an empty classroom and they have like 10 toys the kids play with. Its pathetic.

JanaLee said...

This too shall pass! Chandler was horrible!! I had to tell the Nursery leaders to completely ignore him and he'd be fine! They'd bring him to me and I would ask "who talked to him?" They'd tell me they just tried handing him a toy or snack. I'd have to tell them again to totally act like he wasn't there and then he'd be fine! He finally decided snacks weren't so bad and as long as no one spoke to him he would stay. I guess you could say he just wasn't the social type. Winston will be fine...not sure about you or the Nursery leaders, but Winston will get there. GOOD LUCK!! love you!!