36 Weeks

36 weeks, and 4 weeks since I last posted. Man does time fly, and my belly shows it's grown in that time too.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and it was the first appointment that Matt was able to go with me. It's been really weird to not have him there until now, as with the others, he was there for the majority of the appointments. Apparently medical school keeps you busy for some reason. I can't imagine why. ;)

I'm not sure Matt was totally impressed with my Dr, but I like her well enough, and I trust that she'll bring my baby into this world. I'm also not sure Matt was totally impressed with my weight. Haha! Seriously, I wish I could have taken a picture of how big his eyes got. In reality, I'm pretty sure this is the most I've ever weighed in pregnancy, though by some miracle I can't ever recall my previous pregnancies weight. It has been hard for me to know that, and I feel like I've put weight on my face more then I ever did before either. Even though you're pregnant, you still don't like gaining weight and feel so gross and fat. I foresee struggling more with getting this weight off then any other pregnancy, and I'm not looking forward to that. I'm just old now!

I had my group B Strep swab yesterday, so that meant that she was also able to check me and see if my body is starting to do anything. Not one thing yet, not dilated at all. With Winston I didn't dilate until a week prior to his due date, and it was only to a 1. But we did set an induction 1 week early, as she's out of town for a week just after that, so she's scheduling me for June 25th (I'll be 39 weeks that day). I really don't want to be induced again, it's horrible, but I also want this baby born ASAP so we can get on with summer and whatever that means for Matt having a job and such. I'm still thinking I'll try some natural induction prior to, as the labor is so much easier natural then with pitocin. I want to get out walking again, as I was good for a while, and then it got too rainy again. Since it's rainy this week, I hope to get out Monday and start walking at the boys school while they play at the playground. Thanks for the idea Mom! I want to feel those contractions!

At my appointment, we also talked about my "birth plan" which is really nothing at all, I've never had one, as how can you know what's going to happen. The only thing I ever say, is no episiotomy, but since I never even tear, I really don't have to worry about it. I also just said, that depending on if I go in labor naturally, or with pitocin, I'd like to labor as long as I can without getting my epidural. If I have pitocin, I know it very likely won't be long, so much more intense and painful that way.

I've been feeling pretty great, besides just tired. I'm not really uncomfortable at all, achy here and there occasionally, but I really can't believe I only have a few weeks left. For some reason, last week, I was really retaining water, when I've never retained in any other pregnancy, but this week I've seemed fine. It was annoying to retain water and didn't feel good, so I tried to take it easy the last part of the week, as I was busy and on my feet at the beginning of the week.

So, if I'm being induced on June 25th, that means I only have about 2.5 weeks until I should have a baby. That seems almost way too soon, though I want baby boy here. I have NOTHING done though. I have had all these big plans in my head since last week, but still not one thing accomplished. In fact, I feel like my house is more of a disaster then ever. In my mind I feel like I want to "nest" but have yet to take action. I need to get my bedroom back in order, as it has gotten out of control, then I'd like to clean everything. I also need to catch back up on laundry, which is hard when I have clean clothes that are still sitting baskets too, though folded. Then, I need to get everything ready to have a baby live in this house. I decided I want to put Winston back in with Malcolm and Quinn, so I want to go through all the toys and get rid of a lot, then rearrange a little to add Winston's bed in there too. I was going to keep Winston in his own room and the baby have his own room too, but a few months ago, Matt's parents brought our full size bed back to us, which they've been storing and using for about 5 years, and I just can't seem to figure out how to put the baby in the same room with the full size bed, it's just too squished. So then I need to get all the baby furniture out of the garage and in the babies room and then wash all the baby clothes and put them away. Sheesh, I better get busy. But can I just say, I'm really not excited to pull out all the baby clothes. I think it may be that it's the 4th boy, and they've been used so many times, I'm tired of them, just like I get tired of my own clothes.

I will stop my pregnancy rambling and get on to cleaning now, maybe, hopefully, if the kids will only be good. :)

P.S. I would still love any name suggestions! PLEASE! I'm waiting for something to just scream, "THAT'S IT!"

32 Weeks

I can not believe that it has been 6 weeks since I have posted anything, or even taken a picture of myself. In fact, in my photo folder for April, there are only folders for "food" and "camera", I didn't take one picture of my family, and their was only a few pictures in the other folders as is. So sad. I didn't post about our 3D ultrasound at 29 weeks either.

So here I am at 32 weeks! I"M HUGE! 

I love when I get down to the single digit countdown, so only 8 weeks to go. Maybe only 7 weeks, since my Dr wants to induce me a week early, as she'll be going out of town. But 6 weeks would be really awesome since I'm hoping to start some natural induction stuff just after 38 weeks. :) 

I really do feel bigger this time then any other. Not just my stomach, but also in my face and just my whole body. But I guess that's what I get when I start out weighing more then ever. Blah! :) I've been walking the last 3 weeks or so, which at least makes me feel like I'm combating something, but I've only been able to go about 3x a week due to rain and such, but it's better then nothing. 

This baby boy just feels much bigger then any of the other boys. I feel like he's already filling up every inch of my belly, very high and very low, so I hope he's not going to be too big when he comes out. I love little babies, so they stay little longer. 

I've been feeling pretty good myself, other then feeling tired again, and some days I feel like I could just sleep. I was struggling with pains from my pelvic hernias, which then caused varicose veins down my right leg, especially behind my knee. The pressure and pain would be so bad some days, I didn't feel like I could be on my feet for too long. I started wearing some footless tights to help relieve some of the pressure and it really helped. The last week or more, I haven't even been wearing my tights, and for some reason, my hernias aren't protruding, and my veins haven't been hurting me. Yay! I'm hoping that keeps up, because I felt so hot with so many layers going on, and with summer upon us, less is more!

I've been going to my Dr appt every two weeks for a while now, and I love when it gets to this point. Before I know it, it'll be every week. The end is fast approaching, especially when I think about the boys almost being done with school for the year. I'm anxious to get the nursery set up, yet I don't know how I'm going to do it with a full size bed in there too. So far, I just go in their and "arrange" things in my head. :)

So at 29 weeks, I had a 3D ultrasound. I was so excited since I've never had any with my other kids. Well, baby boy did not cooperate. Apparently he really likes his hands by his face, and he was sleeping the whole time, so he didn't move and change position a lot, unlike the last ultrasound. His head was down with his face pointing toward the left side of my body, all his extremities on the left side as well, and his bum, straight at the top of my stomach. 

I can very much feel those little hands that like to be by his face all the time. They are always moving right to the inside of my hip. One day he must have been pushing them out, because I couldn't even bend over he had them wedge over so far. :) I love it though. I love to feel him always moving and pushing. I miss feeling the baby move so much after I deliver, so I just want to treasure it now. 

We got a good profile picture at the ultrasound, which looks just the same as the 20 weeks. We also got a disc with some of the 3D "videos", but it looks like just a blob with his hands in his face. You can make out his nose and mouth in most of them, and see him opening his mouth and swallowing. Pretty cool, but still hard to make out. 

Our little (big?) peanut at 29 weeks. 

26 Weeks

26 weeks and 1 day! 

I've been terrible and didn't take a picture for two weeks, and I'm just posting the picture I took last weeks, as I never got around to posting. Between being sick, and traveling and being busy, I didn't get pictures taken for 23 and 24 weeks. But oh well I guess. With Winston's pregnancy, once I started taking pictures, I never missed a week and took them right on the same day every week.

Since I didn't post for a few weeks, I didn't post after my last OB appt, and today I just went in for another one. So I should post what my Dr told me after the ultrasound. The baby measured 11 days early in the ultrasound, and according to the ultrasound the due date should be June 21st. My doctor didn't want to move the due date for various reasons, like, babies can have growth spurts like children, and she'd feel more comfortable inducing early knowing my ultrasound said I was earlier. Then she got realizing that she would be out of town on July 2nd and would be leaving prior to that for her sisters wedding. So she said she'd like to induce me on like June 26th, as she's leaving town the next day. So I'm thinking, since I hate being induced and tried doing a natural induction with Winston (which I think worked), maybe I should try the natural induction again around the due date the ultrasound said. :)

Other then that, the baby is pretty active and the boys still love him already and can't wait for him to get here. I've been dealing with this back pain in my tail bone I had with Winston and had physical therapy for, but my insurance doesn't cover physical therapy this time.

My doctor starts seeing her patients every two weeks at 28 weeks, so since I'm already 26 weeks, she wants me to just start coming in every two weeks from now! Wow, that's crazy and I always love when it gets to this point and it feels like its counting down to the end.

I need name suggestions if any are willing to share!

As I took the pictures, the boys were amazed by my remote and had to take turns using it. Then they each started getting in the pictures with me, but beware, Malcolm and Quinn's hair is not styled, they were combed down with water in the morning, but with Quinn you wouldn't know.

Malcolm wanted a picture kissing my belly, but I liked this one better.

Then Malcolm and Quinn.

And finally all the boys with their momma. Winston was showing his muscles and making faces for each picture. I sure do love these boys and can't wait to add one more boy to love!

25 Weeks

25 Weeks and 3 days. :)

I never got around to posting this picture. I didn't even take it until halfway through the week, but I'll post it now for for the fact that it's been a few weeks since I took a pic.

22 Weeks

22 weeks...another week, another belly shot, and not much to report. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, and I always look forward to my OB doctor appointments. If you look closely too, you can see that I just woke up from a nap and have lines on my arm. :)

I keep having big plans to update my blog with other things, besides just my belly, but it never gets done. I guess editing one picture is much easier then a dozen or so. I sometimes miss my obsessive blogging days!

21 Weeks

21 Weeks and I have grown since this pic at 15 weeks where I wore the same shirt. Not much has changed since the ultrasound, still pregnant. I can't wait for my appointment next week to see if my doctor ends up moving up my due date. Who wouldn't love to have a baby sooner then later! :) Yay for one week closer to seeing this baby boys cute face. Also, feel free to start throwing out boy names to give us some ideas, since I'll never get to use the baby girl name I've had picked out for 8+years, and that's the only name I've got at this point. I wonder if he would mind having a beautiful girl name? ;)

And the lighting in this picture is much improved from last weeks, as last week I had taken the picture in my bedroom with high ceilings, and not in the little bedroom. I was hoping the natural light (as I have 3 windows in my huge room) would be better, but since it was so dreary, it was not so great. So low ceilings are much better on the dreary days when I'm relying on flash to bounce!

Boy #4: The Wild Child

It's a BOY aka Wild Child!

Today was the big ultrasound, and "boy" was I excited to see the sweet little thing I always feel moving inside me. I was so grateful that the appointment was on Matt's lunch break so he could be there with me. This morning Malcolm told me that he'd be happy if it was a boy, and he'd be REALLY happy if it was a girl. Both Malcolm and Quinn wanted a girl this time. Winston always said he wanted a boy, and when I'd ask him what we should name it, he'd say "Win", which is one of his nicknames. 

The baby was very active, I did eat a yogurt right prior to the appointment, and he did not stop moving the whole time, the tech had a hard time getting the measurements at times he would change positions so fast. Within just the first 10 mins or so, he said that baby had changed positions three times, flipping around so much. He called the baby a wild child and then also later said that he wins the most active baby of the month award. 

I thought I saw it was a boy as he was moving around (not that I said anything), I referred to him as a boy at one point and then telling the tech that it's out of habit. But later he confirmed that I was right on thinking it was a boy. I was not surprised, and I was so happy I didn't feel disappointed and didn't cry this time (as I did with Winston). Of course I'd love to have a little girl, but I'm not sure it'd ever be in the cards for us anyways. I'm just thankful that this baby boy seems to be growing right and seems healthy. 

The baby boy's heartbeat was at 157, which the tech said was nice and high, and definitely goes with how active he was. He also said he looked to be about 1 pound now. With all his measurements and everything, the baby boy measured 1.5-2 weeks bigger then the 20 weeks I'm at right now. I know I was very sure on my dates being correct, so maybe he's just a bigger baby, but I'm really hoping that my doctor will move my due date up, so we can have a June baby, instead of 3 birthdays within days of each other. My due date is July 2nd right now, and Quinn's birthday is the 7th, and then Malcolm's is the 8th. 

It was so fun to see how much Matt enjoyed seeing the baby and seeing what an active little wild child he is, we were just both grinning the whole time. I know it's harder for the dad to connect to the baby as soon as the mom, since we get to feel the baby moving and growing everyday.

 The cute profile of our newest little Hardy boy. It looks so cute and I can't to see his sweet face and kiss it. I feel so much more anxious to have him here with us now!

That is definitely a boy. With all the boys it has always been so obvious, and they've never been shy to share, he was just as willing to show us as the other boys.

Since Malcolm and Quinn were at school, we decided to get some balloons that they could see when they got off the bus, thinking they would know what it meant. I didn't think about it prior or tell them I was doing it, so they were confused by them at first too, wondering who's birthday or what party we were celebrating. Quinnie thought maybe they were for Valentine's day, or that it was almost his birthday. Then after a few hints, that it was for someone's someday birthday, and remembering it was the ultrasound today, they got it. Maybe if they had been baby blue balloons, it would have made more sense. I don't know, but they were out of baby blue and only had dark blue. 

I decided I'd try getting a picture of the boys with the balloons and being excited for the new baby boy. I miss taking pictures all the time, so it was a good thing, even though it's hard to get them to cooperate, and that it's inside with flash!

Handsome boys, and just think...one more to that bunch. I wonder if anyone will want to come visit us, or even hang out with us anymore!

 Love Quinn's stance here.

I wanted just one picture of them all smiling and looking at the camera. In this pic, Quinn and Mack looked good, but Winston had his finger in his mouth, so I just totally switch him out from another pic.

I just love that I can get a more perfect picture that way. You can see in the SOOC pic (straight out of camera) Winston with his finger in his mouth, then the after with a little edit, a cute smiling Winston! Amazing! 

I told them to show me their muscles like they are the stripling warriors, since I feel like I am raising an army of boys that will be future missionaries. So I sang "We'll Bring the World His Truth" as they posed with muscles several different times. I just hope I can be the mother I need to be to raise righteous young men! :)

20 Weeks

20 weeks, that seems crazy and yet not fast enough at the same time. :)

I've been really bad at getting pictures taken the last few weeks. I didn't initially post a pic from 17 weeks, as I didn't like it because of camera settings and wanted to redo it, but that never happened, so I just posted it anyways. Then the next 2 weeks I got busy and never got one taken. So here we are at 20 weeks, with a picture I don't like, but I know if I don't post it, I won't take another one. We all hate pics of ourselves right!?!

20 weeks means it's time for the big ultrasound. I get it later this week on Thursday, Feb 16th. I'm anxious to see a healthy baby growing normally. I'm a little anxious to know that everything is growing fine and all is well and it makes me just a little nervous. I'm anxious to know the sex too, if it cooperates. I'm telling myself it will be another boy, as that is what I've expected having another baby, and knowing we are more then likely having all boys. But I can't help and hope for a little girl someday in my life. But we're having another baby knowing our family is not complete, and not because we want a little girl. So I am reminding myself, I just hope for a healthy baby regardless of what it is, and I will be happy just having another baby in our home. 

Things have still been going well. I feel the baby a lot, and have been feeling it's hiccups for the last few weeks. I love that! The other day I tried having Matt feel it, but it's always harder for him to feel it outside my belly then me. I know right where it kicks and he doesn't. He had just missed a really good kick, and he teased me that I was crazy saying I could feel it with my hand. :) 

At my last appointment, at 18 weeks, the babies heartbeat was 156. For a few days I didn't feel it, and it made me nervous, though I know it's early enough that I might not feel it all the time, I was still anxious and it is always reassuring to hear the heartbeat again. I keep stealing Matt's stethoscope trying to hear the heartbeat with it, but no luck yet. I'm not sure how for along I should be before hearing it with it, but it would be fun someday to find it with the stethoscope. 

Last week I decided to start working out again. It's been too long and I'm terribly out of shape. But I feel so huge already, and knowing how great of shape I was in before Winston and throughout his pregnancy, I know this pregnancy will be very uncomfortable if I don't get/stay active. I started Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred, hoping that since it's only 20 mins, it would seem easier. Man was it a lot harder then it looked. I hope that was partly because I was 19 weeks pregnant and not just that out of shape. I hope to keep up with that, eventually maybe do my step aerobics again, and to walk on the nice days. These are my pregnancy goals. :)

My only few complaints so far about this pregnancy, I have two pelvic hernia's, that I had in Winston's pregnancy too, and they are so uncomfortable at times. It causes so much pressure and pain, and is worse when I'm on my feet too long. The other, is how huge I am. I seriously feel like I look 30 weeks instead of 20 weeks. But maybe I'm just self conscious too. I've always just poked out really fast as my babies have no where to hide in my short waist. So hopefully this isn't going to be my most uncomfortable pregnancy like I fear. I will gladly let that forever be my second pregnancy. Well I thought I would compare this weeks pic with the first picture I took of Winston's pregnancy, which I took at 24 weeks. I think I'm pretty much the same size, but I also think the shape of my stomach looks different this time. I wish I had taken pictures with all my pregnancies to compare. That would've been fun!

17 Weeks

I never posted this picture from 17 weeks, though I didn't like it at the time as I wasn't paying attention to my setting and wanted to retake it. But that led into not taking pictures for several weeks, so I get what I get I guess. 

15 Weeks

and 2 days...again. :)

Well I didn't get this up earlier this week, so I better get it done now. I still took this picture 2 days late, but I didn't want to do another gross ugly night picture. (And the lighting in the picture is just so much better with some natural light coming into the window.) I also have a feeling these posts will take over my blog, since I never seem to blog otherwise! I need/want to catch up sooo bad!

So anyways, I've been feeling like I'm more energetic again and getting out of the really sleepy stage, besides going to bed too late and waking up too early to get the kids off to school. I need to kick that habit! I had a little bit of a scare one morning when I noticed some blood in the toilet (tmi!), but then figured it was from my urine and I had a UTI. 

I'm pretty sure I've felt the baby several times this week. I love when it gets to this point. There is nothing like feeling the life growing inside and enjoying the movements. I can't wait for the regular movements when I can just lay down at night and enjoy the life growing. 

I've felt a lot of anxiety in the beginning of the pregnancy as I was so nervous of miscarriage again. I actually felt really nauseous and sick, never throwing up, for the first 4-6 weeks. I've never been sick in any of my pregnancies, only very occasionally nauseous, so that was really weird and annoying. I freaked out the day before Thanksgiving, as I realized that I wasn't feeling sick anymore, and other pregnancy symptoms I had weren't barely there, and I was afraid I was going to miscarry. Luckily the next week was my first appointment and ultrasound and everything was fine. I still felt very anxious since it was so early in the pregnancy, but last week after my appointment and hearing the heartbeat again, I have felt a lot less anxious this week. I'm starting to enjoy the thought of the baby growing, instead of having anxiety that it's going to end.

While we were home for Christmas, Winston started saying to me, "you fat". Haha! When I told him it's not nice to say I'm fat, because I would never want him to say such a thing to anyone else, he just shakes his head and says, "no, baby in tummy". It is so funny, it makes me laugh. Now he's started saying, "you fat" and "cute baby" to my belly. He also tells me it's a baby boy and it's name is "Win", which is one of his nicknames. It is too funny. He will talk to my belly and say, "hi Win" and just keep referring to it as "Win". It is so funny. He was also trying to tell me he wanted to see the baby today, and through our "conversation" which means, he is trying to talk to me, and he uses lots of hand signals, he makes a hand motion that he wants the baby to come out of my mouth. So apparently he thinks I'm going to throw up the baby in the end. Ha!

All the boys are so excited for this baby to get here, and they still have quite the wait ahead of them. Malcolm tells me he is going to hold and carry the baby for me all the time. I know he is going to be a great help to me. Quinn is so anxious for it to get here already. He talks to my belly and tells the baby that he's Quinn and tells it hello and goodbye, and explains to it that he has to go to school but will be back. He asks me questions like, if the baby can hear in my tummy, that's why he talks to it now, and if the baby can smell or breathe and such things. It's really different in a good way, as in fun, to be having a baby with these older boys. When I had Winston, Malcolm was the same age that Winston will be, so he didn't have the excitement that he has now. Quinn was pretty much oblivious to the whole thing, beside being told their was a baby in my tummy. It's fun to hear them talk about it now and ask questions. 

I am constantly referring to the baby as "he" and "baby brother", I don't even think about it when I say it. I just cannot deny that this is going to be boy #4. My hopes of a baby girl were dashed with Winston, and although I still want a girl, I just know it's a very slim chance I will ever have that chance. But we didn't want another baby in hopes for a girl, we just know that our family wasn't finished yet. So we'll find out for sure in about 4 weeks when I get my ultrasound on February 16th. :)

14 Weeks

and 2 days! :)

(Please keep in mind that I decided to take this picture at 9:30pm and it's a self portrait. I was so tempted to photoshop myself all up, but I'm keeping it real!)

I'm huge, already! (I'm trying to remind myself, it's my 4th baby, and I had extra weight on me to begin with, which I'm not proud of!) I wasn't showing much, until we went home for Christmas and my stomach popped out! At my appointment today, my doctor said from my last appointment (Dec 1st) until today, I'd only gained 2.2 lbs, so I guess it's not from much weight gain. Which is good considering it was the holidays and I'm pregnant.

I hate self portraits, I am not a photogenic person, but I took weekly pictures with Winston, and I wanted to start doing it again. Despite the horrible pictures with Winston, it has been fun to go back and see the progress I made during the last half of his pregnancy (since I didn't start the pictures until 23 weeks). I wanted to start pictures earlier than this, but I couldn't bring myself to take any until tonight.

I got to listen to the heartbeat again today. It brought more relief and is helping to relieve the anxiety I have felt ever since I took a pregnancy test. Since I had miscarriages last year, I was trying really hard to not get my hopes up. When I got the ultrasound at 9 weeks, I was relieved to see there was a baby with a heartbeat, but I was still anxious since I was only 9 weeks. So being 14 weeks and still a heartbeat, I'm feeling a little better that this will bring us a baby. I just hope for a healthy baby and a healthy me!

Merry Christmas Eve Pajamas!

(I'm backdating this, as it was suppose to be put up on Christmas Eve, but Matt's computer wouldn't connect to the internet!)

Merry Christmas! I'm grateful for the birth of our Savior and all that he did for us. I hope everyone feels the love their Savior has for them on this blessed day. Love, Matthew, Shaila, Malcolm, Quinn, Winston and #4 (expected around July 2nd).

I actually remembered to take a picture of all of us this Christmas Eve in our traditional Christmas Eve pajamas! (With my huge belly already at 12 weeks and 6 days!)

Our number #4! Expected to arrive around July 2nd, but we'll be hoping end of June, since Quinn's birthday is July 7th, and Malcolm's is July 8th! Here at the 9 weeks ultrasound, the baby was measuring 5 days bigger, so I'll hope it keeps that trend up.

Trials

I feel like this past year and a half or two years have been never ending with busyness stress and worries. I hope that 2011 will bring some routine back in our life, because I don't know where it went.

I decided that I wanted to write about something that is very personal, as this is my blog and my only journaling that I do, although I haven't been that good at it for quite some time and always vow to be better, but can't ever find the time. I’m sure it’s long and boring if you decide to read it, but it’s for my own reflection and healing. It's felt good to get it all written down.

I've been so blessed in my life. I've had three wonderful pregnancies, deliveries and babies. I've always had an extremely easy time conceiving, we just thought about a baby and we were pregnant. But through the years I've always heard of all the problems others have. Not being able to conceive, miscarriages, hard pregnancies, preterm labor or premature babies, stillborns, difficulty or complications in delivery. Pregnancy is such a scary thing and so many things can go wrong! How naive I was the first two times, and how scared I am of all the things that could go wrong now. I've always been thankful for my ease of it all, but guilty at the same time. I wondered when it would be my turn, because certainly I had to have a turn, right.

In January we started talking about having another baby, but I wasn't able to get my IUD out until mid-February. So I started planning on when to have the baby and thought although I didn't want a December baby with all the holidays, it would be a good time if Matt happened to be in school again (as we didn't know at the time if he'd get into school). This was the first time I ever tried planning a "birthday". With Malcolm I had no clue I would get pregnant the first cycle, with Quinn I thought it wouldn't happen as fast again, like Malcolm was a fluke and thought it would take a few months, but it didn't. With Winston, although we had talked about getting pregnant "in about six months", it happened sooner unexpectedly. After three times I was finally convinced that just talking about it, we get pregnant.

Well this time, it didn't happen the first round or the second and so on. It was discouraging and worrisome since we've never had problems. I thought that maybe it had something to do with my autoimmune disease, but when I talked to my doctor, he said it shouldn't interfere with it.

June comes and Matt had to leave us in Moses Lake to start school in California, while Malcolm and I finished up with our schooling. Matt finds us an apartment and with the help of so many loved ones, I pack all our stuff and move down to So Cal too.

Being done with my schooling and the move over and reunited with my husband, I felt so much relief and finally stress free from all the months of being a full-time student and mom.

To my surprise at the end of July I find out I'm pregnant and would be due April 7th. We figure all the stress I was having from going to school was not letting me get pregnant. I was super excited since it had taken so long. I was so relieved to know that I could still get pregnant and so thankful. I even started talking boy names with Matt, as I know to just expect boys in our future. Well just a couple days later, I started lightly spotting, something I never do EVER with a pregnancy, so I knew it wasn't going to last. I was only five weeks and I felt like I just had a late period. I didn't even want to say it was a miscarriage, but I guess medically, if you had a positive pregnancy test and then bleed, they consider it one. I was disappointed and cried a little one day, but was just thankful to know my body could get pregnant still.

In August I have my normal period. Two weeks later I start having my normal pregnancy symptoms, tiredness, and tenderness. Then a couple weeks later I have a positive pregnancy test due June 7th. I couldn't believe it happened again so fast. I was so happy though. I got sick with a cold for a week and then I had this nausea that I couldn't decide if i was sick or it was pregnancy, though I'm never nauseas when I'm pregnant. I ended up being sick for about two weeks. I slept a lot and couldn't get anything done. Once I was over being sick I was still very tired and took naps most days. I felt very pregnant with my normal symptoms and of course started gaining weight sooner than I wanted. I felt fine about this one since it felt like all my other pregnancies, although I still felt more anxious from all the life experiences and knowledge of things that could go wrong.

I also started getting some weird pregnancy related things that I had with Winston too. I had this terrible back pain at my tailbone, either just to the left or right of it. I got physical therapy for it while pregnant with Winston. I would still get a twinge of it here and there after Winston, but being pregnant brought it back to feeling it every day. I also had two hernias with Winston, I first had one come and then the second came later. After I had him, they went away. This pregnancy I was already starting to feel one of the hernias coming back.

I couldn't wait to go to the doctors and have it confirmed everything was fine. I always like going in at 8 weeks, but when I called to make my appointment, my doctor was out of the office until I would be 11 weeks. Only a few more weeks to wait.

When I was about 9 weeks, after church Malcolm mentioned that it looked like I had a baby in my tummy. We still hadn't told them and I thought maybe we couldn't wait much longer. I felt very pouchy, at the stage where you just look like your gaining weight and getting fat. I was hating how early I was showing. My pants were getting uncomfortable and when home I would just unbutton them. I was hoping I could hold off growing since all my maternity clothes were back in ML and I couldn't get them until Christmas. I was wishing I could tell people I was pregnant, and not just getting fat.

At about 10 weeks I realized I wasn't feeling as tired, which was nice. I contributed it to only having a few weeks left of the first trimester. I was also continuing to grow and still very tender. I started getting excited to tell our families. We thought about going home for Christmas pregnant without telling anyone, as I would be 16 weeks and totally showing. We thought it would be funny! The more time went on though, I knew I couldn’t make it past Thanksgiving.

Matt's parents were coming to visit the day after my first appointment, and we decided we'd tell both our parents then. I started working on a fun way to tell our parents. I also started feeling like I wanted to tell my good friend and neighbor Melissa that I was pregnant, even though none of our family knew yet. When I told Matt I was feeling that way, he told me to tell her. So I ended up getting the chance to tell her and was excited to share it with someone.

I was so excited the day of my appointment. I couldn't wait to hear the heartbeat and confirmation of a growing baby. I remember with the other pregnancies how teary eyed that first time hearing the heartbeat always made me, and I was excited to feel that way again. It's such a sweet and special moment.

It was the first time ever meeting my doctor, and I thought I picked well as he was really nice and personable. When I told him about my autoimmune disease, he told me he wanted me to go to a perinatal as people with lupus (which is one of the two possibilities of which disease I have) can sometimes get blood clots in pregnancy. He said they might want me on blood thinners and until then he wanted me to take a baby aspirin every day.

 I told him how I felt a lot more anxious this time and he asked why I felt that way and I told him just from hearing all the troubles others have and wondering when it will happen to me. He told me that having three good prior pregnancies is a good sign that things will continue to be good.

My urine sample came back normal and then it came to hearing the heartbeat. Quinn and Winston were with us, and Quinn started being curious what was going on. Matt was asking him what he thought and he asked if I had a baby in my tummy. It was funny to see him trying to figure it out.

I'm not sure how it was with my other boys, but with Winston we heard his heartbeat at 8 weeks. Here I was 11 weeks, and the doctor was having a hard time finding the heartbeat. After looking for a bit, he started going up and down my stomach trying to find it. This made me nervous since with my other pregnancies it was never hard to find it. The doctor gave up trying and told me he wasn't worried, it's not uncommon not to be able to hear the heartbeat this early.

Seeing that I was concerned he told me he would do an ultrasound on their office machine, though it wasn't that great of one and he said he wasn't an ultrasound tech and not very good at it. I was thankful that he sensitive to my needs and feelings!

As he started doing the ultrasound, I thought I could see my uterus but I couldn't see anything inside. He looked for a couple minutes and said he was going to get one of the other doctors who was a lot better at it. He assured me he wasn't worried, the other was just a lot better. When the other doctor came in, she looked and told my doctor she couldn't see anything in the uterus and she would have me go get a high quality ultrasound.

I knew something was really wrong. We'd had an ultrasound on one of the same types of machines with Malcolm when I was six weeks and could see a blob in the uterus and I’m pretty sure the heartbeat as well. My doctor told me that it could just be that my dates were off and the pregnancy was just a lot sooner than I thought it was. We had to wait for the doctor to put in a referral to my insurance before I could get the ultrasound. So I left discouraged, fighting back tears and not knowing what was really going on.

Matt took us out to lunch and to run to a few stores, which I needed the distraction. Luckily he didn't have class and just stayed at home with me the rest of the day. I was pretty blue and didn't have the energy or desire to get anything done, though I needed to, as Matt's parents were coming into town the next night. Matt kept giving encouraging words, and that everything was probably going to be fine.

The next morning I woke up at 5 am, not able to sleep and my mind running a mile a minute. I finally cried a little bit and tried looking up stuff on the Internet and wondered if I had a molar pregnancy. But in a molar pregnancy you see tissue in the uterus. Finally after an hour, I fell back asleep. Matt got up and got Malcolm off to school and let me sleep. When I woke up I felt better, but told Matt I really felt like this pregnancy was over.

I was antsy all day waiting to hear about getting the ultrasound. I tried calling and got the run around. I had so much to do, and didn't get one thing done and when I’m anxious, I like to pace! Ha! I really just wanted to know what was going on, especially since Matt's parents were coming into town and I didn't want to have to be waiting around wondering while they were here.

Finally I get a phone call at 3pm from my doctor’s office saying they were able to get me an appointment at 3:30pm in Pomona, about 20 minutes away. I couldn't get ahold of Matt, and luckily my friend Melissa knew what was going on, as she had called that morning to see how my first appointment went. She was home and came right over with her little girl Ruthie. I was so thankful for Melissa and her friendship. I realized then that there was a reason I wanted to tell her about the pregnancy. I know I was prompted to do so, so that I had someone that could be there for me.

I was able to get ahold of Matt and he was able to leave class and meet me at the ultrasound place, as it was right near his school. My ultrasound tech was not very friendly. I couldn't even see the screen and the only thing she said to me during the ultrasound was, "are you sure of your last period?" "Yes" "and you haven't had any bleeding since?" "No". That gave me a clue of what she was seeing, nothing.

Matt said afterwards that my "uterus" measured 11 weeks 4 days (I was suppose to be 11w 2d), he also said there was nothing in there. Just the same as the ultrasound I got to actually see, an empty circle.

At this point I think I was more mystified then sad. How could that be so, an empty uterus that is growing, pregnancy symptoms, pants that are too tight, me feeling fat and frumpy with no real excuse to show for it. It made me feel embarrassed; like I'd tricked my body into thinking it was pregnant. It also made me feel like there was no reason to feel sad about it, there wasn't even a baby to mourn the loss of.

I wondered where do we go now, and how long would my body go on thinking it was pregnant. I didn't get to talk to my doctor that night, so I didn't know what would happen next.

I went home and although I couldn't just forget about it, I tried not to think too much. I didn't have any control over the situation. I got busy getting the house in order for Matt's parents arrival in only a few hours. I needed the distraction anyways.

As I was cleaning, Matt was picking up his parents and telling them I was pregnant, but had no fetus. It was nice to have them here for the weekend and have a distraction, or I think I would have moped around the house instead. I cried a couple times, but mostly felt that there was a reason and I just wanted to get it all figured out.

I also heard from the doctor the day following the ultrasound. He confirmed what we already knew, didn't have an answer as of why, and wanted another ultrasound done in a week, but since that was thanksgiving, the following Monday.

After a couple days, I started spotting a teeny tiny bit about every other day. My body was finally getting the message that it really wasn't pregnant. I think the mind is a powerful thing, and I wondered since I felt so pregnant with all my symptoms, I was telling myself I was pregnant and thought everything was great, so my body continued to be pregnant.

Matt's parents left, and I was sad they weren't here to distract me, and I was nervous about not having any family here when I would fully miscarry or have a d&c. I wished they could’ve stayed.

We were able to go spend thanksgiving with Matt's Mathias family at Pismo Beach for the whole weekend. We had so much fun, and I was grateful for the distraction again. I was worried about miscarrying while we were there, and thankful I was fine.

The week after thanksgiving, I started bleeding a little, still more spotting like, but different and it was every day. That Wednesday (Dec 1^st) I had my other ultrasound. Matt wasn't able to go with me, as he stayed home with the boys. I knew what they were going to find, or lack thereof, so I was fine being alone. I had the same ultrasound tech, who was way more friendly and talkative this time. Since I couldn't see the screen again, I was asking her what I was measuring and such. She told me she really wasn't supposed to tell me anything, but I already knew, I just wanted to know, the doctor doesn't tell you as much. She talked to me the whole time and answered all my questions. She even turned the screen a few times to let me look. I had an abdominal ultrasound, and then, vaginally as well. Abdominally, my sac measured 10 weeks, vaginally it measured 11 weeks. I was supposed to be 13 weeks at this point.  I didn’t realize during the last ultrasound that there was actually a pregnancy sac, there was just no fetus inside of it. I was glad my body had gotten the hint it wasn't pregnant and had stopped growing and even shrunk some. That explained why my pants weren't feeling as tight and didn't have that uncomfortable pain on my belt line. Maybe it was a mental thing too. 

By this time, it had been two weeks since I had found out I had no baby. My tenderness had started going away as well, my body was letting go, as my mind had let go. I was just anxious to have it done and over with so I didn't have to think about it anymore. I still had very minimal bleeding and didn't know how long my body would take to fully miscarry, and I just wanted a d&c to get it done.

That Thursday (day after the ultrasound) Malcolm and Quinn had doctor appointments, so I knew I'd have a chance to talk with my doctor. (He's a family doctor, so he sees our whole family. I love family doctors!) He didn’t really have to tell me what was going on, and gave me the results he got from the ultrasound. It said my results seemed suspicious of a blighted ovum. He was referring me to an OB so that we could talk about a D&C, or such.

It was so annoying to me how my insurance works down here. My doctor has to get referrals for everything. So even though it would only take a few days for the OB referral, I didn’t know if they would be able to see me right away, or it would take a while to get in. Since it was only a couple weeks until we would be leaving for Christmas break, I just felt like there was a possibility that I wouldn’t even get this taken care of before Christmas. It was so annoying, as I just wanted it done and over with and not to have to wonder over Christmas what was going on with my body.

Well Friday (Dec 3rd) I told the boys we would go get a movie for them and eat some pizza. I knew Matt would be studying pretty late having all his finals the weeks to come. I decided to get Sorcerer’s Apprentice for Matt and I and wanted to just go buy it since I had a $10 off coupon. So I reserved a movie for the boys on Redbox, and at about 5pm went off to Walmart. Of course, go figure Walmart was sold out of the movie. At least I knew it must be good, having never seen it. We walked around Walmart for a few minutes anyways. While I was there, I noticed I was really starting to cramp and it was uncomfortable. I texted Matt and told him and told him I wondered if I was going to “really” miscarry, and he asked if they were contraction like, and him saying that made me realize, they were coming and going.

I went over to Target to get Sorcerer’s Apprentice instead. I spoiled the boys’ dinner with popcorn and icees. We walked around for a few minutes, found the movie and then we walked the toy aisle for Christmas ideas. I was starting to hurt a lot more, and before we were even through all the toy aisles, I decided I needed to get home, I was hurting so bad!

We went to 7-eleven to get the movie I had reserved at Redbox. Go figure the darn thing wasn’t working. So having paid for the movie already, I called their customer service number and after a few minutes I was given two rental codes, which was great since that meant I got one free movie. Since I had told the boys we were getting the movie, I went over to Albertson’s to see if their Redbox had it. Not sure why I did so when in pain, but I did. Luckily they had it.

By this time I was hurting so terribly bad. I hurt so bad I texted my mom and told her I felt like I was in labor having these bad cramping contractions. She called me and we talked about it, and she thought maybe I should go see the doctor, but I thought I was fine for now. What would they do for me any way, besides maybe prescribing me some pain meds. As I finished driving home I was in tears I hurt so badly. Even when I labored through the night with Winston and went in to the hospital already dilated at a six, I didn’t cry, or hurt that bad. By this time, I had pretty much been out and about for 2 hours. I don’t know how it took me that long, but I guess all the running around to different places with 3 boys.

Quinn noticed me crying and asked why I was doing so. I just told him I was really sick and needed to get home. I managed to get home, and all the kids inside. I put the little mini pizzas in the oven really quick, as it was way past dinnertime, and had Malcolm get the movie started. I went to the bathroom, and still I wasn’t really bleeding at all, and I just wanted to, something to relieve the pain. I just layed in bed, curled in a ball and cried during every contraction. That was definitely what they were. It made me feel so stupid. I had no baby, and I was having contractions and felt in labor trying to get rid of this nothingness. I was contracting every 30-60 seconds and they’d last about the same amount of time. They were just one right after another with no relief. I’ve never been so miserable, and I’m sure part of it was emotionally!

I forgot about the pizzas, and luckily they just REALLY browned. I put them out to cool and layed back in my bed. I didin’t want the boys to see me hurt so bad, and I knew they were preoccupied with the movie, and the popcorn and icee had given them something in their bellies. Matt messaged me to tell me he was on his way home, and I was so glad, I needed him!

I hearsd talking in the front room and was confused until I realized Mom and Pop had skyped the boys, and I heard Malcolm tell them I was in my bed sick. My mom was telling them to get their jammies on and such. It was sweet and I wished so bad to have my mom with me!  Right then Matt came home. I was so relieved he could take care of the kids.

Matt really wanted to take me into the ER or walk-in or something. I told him to just wait a while, since I took some ibuprofen when I came home, and the pain in between the “contractions” didn’t seem quite so bad. He decided to call my doctor’s office to see if there was an on call doctor he could talk to. They called back and I told the on call what was going on. He basically said that if I was in a lot of pain and felt the need I could go to an urgent care or ER. I asked if he could just give me an Rx for the pain, but he said without an evaluation, he couldn’t. Thanks for the help!! Matt decided to call around to see if there was an urgent care even open, but it was already like 8:30 and they were all closed. I did not want to go to the ER, it’s always ridiculous and you’re always there for hours just waiting!

Around 9pm, I got up and was looking for a bill I needed to pay and had almost forgotten about. Why I thought about it in the state I was in, I don’t know. I was walking around and having to stop during every “contraction”. During one of the contractions my “water broke”. I feel stupid even saying it since I didn’t have a baby and was only 13 weeks pregnant, but that’s what it was. The sac broke, “water” gushed out, the pain stopped, and the major bleeding began.

It was such a relief to not have the pain anymore, the amount of bleeding seemed like nothing. I was just glad to be rid of the pain. I had to hang in the bathroom for an hour and a half. I know TMI, but I was going from toilet to shower the whole time. I knew the with the amount I was bleeding, there was no reason to leave.

I finally decided that I would try and go watch “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” with Matt, which I had forgotten all about. I decided to take one last shower, and while I was standing there, I started feeling a little light headed, which made me a little nervous since I was bleeding like I was. I sat down in the shower and called Matt in. I realized at that point, that I hadn’t eaten since lunch, so I had Matt grab me a roll and a juice. From my past experiences of giving plasma, (haha!), I knew when I needed juice sometimes when I was feeling faint, and the sugar would help me feel better.

Matt was contemplating taking me to the ER since I was starting to feel this way, and I was still bleeding so much.  After eating the roll and drinking the juice, and still sitting in the tub, I started feeling like I was going to pass out. Everything started going black and everything started sounding distant and like it was echoing, only really able to hear myself. I was telling Matt I was going to pass out, I think I kept saying I was gone, and then I started throwing up as well. It was the worst feeling and very scary, and if I felt if I fully passed out, I was afraid I wouldn’t wake back up for a while. Dramatic, but that’s what I was thinking.

It scared Matt enough that he called 911, and I could distantly hear him talking to them, even though he was in the bathroom with me. I started coming back out from almost passing out, and never did pass out all the way. It’s embarrassing now, but then I didn’t care and was afraid to get up and walk, thinking I would pass out for sure. The paramedics got me in the ambulance and gave me an IV to give me anti-nausea medication. The paramedic was so nice and caring, even with me sitting in only my bathrobe and boots! Ha! I started feeling so much better right away and on the way to the ER, I started feeling stupid for being there. I felt stupid that Matt had called 911, but who knows if I would have felt better without that medication.

Matt tried getting a hold of my friend Melissa, and when she didn’t answer, he called his cousin Jeanine to see if someone could come stay with the boys, and she was having her husband come. Melissa did call Matt back and was able to come to the house, while Jeanine’s husband Steve met us at the hospital instead, so I could get a blessing. I was so thankful to have all of them at this time.

The ER was so busy and by the time I got there, I felt fine. We ended up there for three and a half hours, and that was basically all waiting. When I first saw the PA that saw me, she acted like she was just going to send me home right away, until she asked me what was going on. I don’t think the communication was very good there, and when she heard all that I had going on, she wanted to take blood and examine me. I felt like the care I got from the paramedics was so much better, but then you have like 8 of them only caring for you!

The PA said my cervix had closed and that there was very minimal bleeding. The almost fainting episode must have been the last of the heavy bleeding. I felt so stupid that I had an ambulance and then was in the ER. I’m glad the worst of it was over, and the healing could begin. I felt so bad that Melissa had to sleep on my couch until 2:30am, but I was so thankful to have her as a friend and all her help through this.

The next week I had to take it easy. The next day I was sore, physically, probably from all the contractions. Of course I was also very tired, but that was also due to going to bed at 4 am and having kids that wake you up. I was quite tired for several days though. I couldn’t get up and do much, as the bleeding would get worse and I would pass more stuff. I hated that I felt like I had to treat myself like I had just had a baby, when I hadn’t, especially since I was so early. I really wished I had my mom and mother-in-law with me.

Emotionally I feel like I’ve been pretty good. I’ve cried here and there, and had a few down days, but I’m just glad that it’s over. I feel really sad and teary sometimes when I think of how far I should be, like this week I should have been 15 weeks, and I wonder when I’ll stop counting. I’m sure the baby center weekly email reminders don’t help that! Ha! I hear all the time of people who are pregnant, and I compare their due dates to what mine should have been. I also had a good cry the other night on the rare occasion that I got to rock Winston to sleep. I wonder if he’ll be my last baby, and I don’t get my own little newborn again. I don’t want him to grow up!

All in all, I’m so thankful that things are fine for now. I’m thankful that if anything would have been wrong with this baby, that my body recognized it now and ended it early. I’m so thankful for my three beautiful boys, for the ease of pregnancy, labor and delivery with them. I’m so thankful to be a mom, even if I’m not the most perfect of moms. I’m also thankful that this all went down when it did, that it happened when Matt was with me, and not when he had to be at school. I’m also so thankful for his love for me and his support and understanding through this.

From here my doctor wants me to see a perinatal doctor, and to get back to a Rheumatologist for my auto-immune disease. We don’t know if it has anything to do with my disease, but my doctor would like to figure out what’s going on, before I try again. Of course he left the decision up to me if I wanted to hold off trying again, and I decided I wanted to look into it more, and go back on birth control until we can get answers as to why I’ve been having problems. I don’t want this to happen again.

I know there are reasons for everything, and if right now is not the right time for another spirit to come to our family, I’ll wait. It’s hard wondering if maybe we aren’t supposed to have any more, but I don’t feel done.  I’m just thankful that nothing worse has happened to me in life and for all the blessing I have! I'm thankful for my knowledge of the Gospel, for the comfort I get from priesthood blessings and for the comfort I get through prayer. I know my Heavenly Father loves me, and this trial is for my own growth, to make me a stronger person. Just like every trial I have, I'm thankful for the stronger person it makes me!

I still wonder why this has happened, and I wonder why I never knew a miscarriage could be like this. Why don’t women talk about this much? I know that every miscarriage is different, especially at the stage you do miscarry, but I had no clue my body would go into labor like symptoms to have the miscarriage. Why did my body keep growing and think it was pregnant, when I didn’t even have a baby anymore? 

Here we go again

Here we are again, seems like just the other day we were in this place with Quinn. Its funny how life goes. So Shaila started having some contractions yesterday but was in denial as we went through the day they continued to get worse. At 6:30 we went to play games with the Poteet's and some other couples. We played a very fun game called Bang which is an Italian western card based game. At this time her contractions were actually painful for her but she was quiet about it because of the big crowd. We ended up going home at 10 o'clock. I fell asleep quickly and was woken up by Shaila's heavy breathing at 5:00. I was like, OK lets call George and head to the hospital. Shaila felt bad for the boys and George so she wanted to wait. Shaila told me that she had been up all night because of the contractions. About 6:00 Malcolm woke up to make sure we were still home. 7:00 Shaila started to get in worse pain. 8:30 she decided that we should go to the hospital so we called the Poteets. 9:30 We showed up to the hospital and the nurse checked Shaila and she was at a 6. Here are some pics.


Here is Shaila happy she is going.

Here she is having a contraction (shes gonna kill me for putting this one up).
So it is 10:30 now and she just got her epidural. Go ahead and shout out some names in the comments.

39 Weeks

One week to go...well at least to my due date. I went to the Doctors today and we're finally seeing progress. The baby has finally dropped and I'm dilated to 1 cm. Not much, but better then the last two weeks when the baby was still high and he couldn't even get to my cervix. So I wasn't expecting a change, but it was great to hear that my body is doing something. I tried talking to him about inducing me a few days early this weekend, these were my reasons for wanting it. Matt's week next week is really busy, I have group B strep, he's going on vacation starting Feb 11th (my Dr that is), and it's suppose to snow everyday this week, so I'm afraid our parents couldn't make it down unless planned. Needless to say, he said he would rather me wait until my due date. He said he would rather induce me the next weekend. Oh and also I want to go on a weekend so that my step dad can be here. So with every other pregnancy I would have been absolutely discouraged and disappointed. This time, I was totally fine about it. I really do want to go on my own, I'm just nervous about the timing being right. I guess this just gives my body more time.

Things I have loved about this pregnancy.

-I haven't worked. With the other two I worked as a full time 911 dispatcher.

-It's gone by so much faster then the other two. I can't believe my due date is next week.

-I haven't been that uncomfortable...of course I have my days, but I don't feel nine month pregnant.

-I've worked out nearly the whole pregnancy. I'm still doing my aerobics and walking. The only time I didn't work out, was for about 6 weeks during the summer. I'm not bragging or trying to talk myself up. I've really seen a difference with this pregnancy. I'm not carrying as big. I haven't gotten as much "baby fat" as I have with the other boys. My arms are still mostly defined (as good as you get with 3 lb and 5 lb weights), and the same for my legs. It has been really hard, but I'm so proud of myself for keeping it up. It has been kind of an experiment for me, and I'm happy I tried it. We'll see if there's a difference after delivery.

-I've been pregnant with everyone!! 4 out of the 5 of my Mom's kids were expecting all at the same time. First to go was my younger sister Leisha in October. Then my sister in law Melanie 2 WEEKS EARLY in December. (I'm jealous!) Then my sister in law Holli a couple of weeks ago. I'm the last of that pack. I've also had tons of friends and people I know expecting too. It's really nice to be pregnant with other people. I haven't felt quite as frumpy and fat. We are all growing together. My friends Erica and Mandy went through this all a year ago, so I'm sure they are loving being skinny with all us pregnant girls around.

-I've never been so prepared for one of my babies. Everything is ready to go. Plus my house has been totally cleaned top to bottom. Now if only the baby would come while I was all prepared!

38 Weeks

38 Weeks...wow. I can't believe how close it is until he's going to be here. Matt says I've been nesting. I've been scrubbing the house down. Started with the organizing of the baby's room. Then I moved onto the kitchen where I pulled out the fridge, cleaned under the oven, wiped down walls, cupboards, organized the cupboard under the sink, organized the "laundry room" closet. Then I moved to the bathrooms and scrubbed both of them, cleaning the walls, organizing under the sinks. Of course this wasn't all in one day. A room a day was my goal. I want to continue on with the rest of the house, but I've been busying doing other things instead. I'm sure (or I'm hoping) I will finish later this week. And then the surface cleaning has to be done all over again. Ugh! Last Wednesday we went to the hospital's birthplace to get a tour and fill out paper work. Everybody raves about the birthplace here, and now I can see why. I wanted to go into labor on the spot...just so I could have a "vacation". That's how comfortable it made me feel. The rooms are huge. With a couch (with the bed that folds out for dad), table, chairs, glider, small fridge, microwave, TV and DVD player. Plus you stay in one room for the whole process. Moses Lake isn't like that. They bath the baby right in the room, have a warming bed. They also have the garbage and linens in a closet that the staff can access through the hallway so they don't have extra people coming into the room. Then the bathroom is huge, with a nice shower of course and a jacuzzi. Not only that, in the main hallway they have a big fridge stocked with all kinds of snacks, from sandwiches to cakes, that the patients can have at all times. Plus the meals you get to order from the cafe. Man, this was feeling like a 5 star resort. I wanted to go in early just to have a break before hand. So the next couple days after that I was very anxious to have the baby. I'm over that now, for the most part. I highly doubt that I'll go on my own, let alone early. I'm still not uncomfortable. I'm carrying smaller than I did with Quinn, I don't know about with Malcolm, too long ago to remember. I can still sleep at night, when I'm not up going to the bathroom that is. I know my body isn't ready yet, even though I have tons of contractions. They just don't get painful, or stay consistent for very long. I'm okay with it though. Although I'm sad to think that I'm just going to have to be induced, my babies just need some help out I think. Well I'm totally rambling. I just can't wait for my 5 star resort experience!!

37 Weeks

Well it's coming to a close. I got the babies room all organized and ready. Baby clothes are washed and put away as well as they can be without a dresser. Car seats all cleaned and ready to go with the winter cover, and head support in. Finally found all the remaining blankets, burp rags and hats. I don't have as many blankets as I remember...I feel like I've lost some. Hmm! Cribs not made up with bedding yet....but I feel like that will wait since he'll be in my room for a few weeks...at least while we have company. This is the first pregnancy that I have really weird dreams. Some aren't related to pregnancy, but then I've had that are. I had a dream a few weeks back that my water broke at 36 weeks and I just kept thinking it was too early for him. Then I had a dream a few nights ago that I went into labor and had him at 37 weeks (right now) and still I did not feel ready for him. The dream just left me feeling really uncomfortable about it too. I talked to my Dr. today about wanting to go into labor on my own. He said he wouldn't let me go past 42 weeks...and I'm sure I wouldn't want to at that point either. Then I found out when I was scheduling appointments for up until my delivery, I was told my Dr was taking vacation the week after my due date. So I guess I won't be going much over my due date. I don't want some on call Dr to deliver me! Thanks Mandy for watching the boys today! I'm glad they are so comfortable with you...or maybe it's just Georgey!?!

36 Weeks

4 weeks left. That is such a great feeling. I can't help but think of Mel going 2 weeks early and only wish I could be so lucky! I had my Dr appt today, now I start going once a week!! Yay! Also he said he'd check my cervix next week. I know that's a weird thing to be excited about, but I always want to know if I'm progressing or not. Although I always dilate at least to a 2 and then they give false hope of saying that I could go any day now. With Quinn, nothing they did worked, and I went over anyways. Sorry if any guys read this! I have all my baby stuff out, I started washing the blankets and the few warm clothes we have. It's so fun to pull out all the cute stuff the other boys wore...even though this baby won't wear it. Now I just need to get everything cleaned and organized. That's my goal for this week, then cleaning the house really good. I don't want the "Mom's" to come here and have a filthy house!

35 Weeks

And 35 days to go. Although we can only wish for sooner! I'm really tired of these pictures and posts. Am I the only one!?! Not much to say about how I feel...just big, but not ready to deliver. I feel absolutely huge, and no more room for the baby to go. I can't keep my pants on, although that's been a problem for quite some time, but now I just wish I could wear my sweats everywhere, they are the only thing that's not constantly falling down. And of course all my shirts are too tight, but what can you do when your stomach sticks out so far!

So you have to check out last weeks picture and this picture! I have totally grown so much! I was amazed when I check the pictures out. I was just thinking how uncomfortable I was feeling, but just thinking it was just in my head. Now I can see why!! Crazy! 5 more weeks...seriously!?! UGH!