My Poor Quinn

I just had a sad/scary mom moment, not that it was my fault. The boys have been riding a bus home from school since we've moved, and the bus stop is at the corner of our road like 6 houses down or so. Kindergartner's have to be picked up by the parent at the stop, unless a paper is signed. Yesterday, I finally felt that the boys have had enough experience with the bus (and I didn't want to wait in the rain again), that Quinn didn't need me to get him since I can sit at the window and see them walk home. So I sat by the window today and saw Malcolm running home, and I didn't see Quinn and Malcolm yelled that they didn't let Quinn off, that he needed a parent. So I ran out there, and the bus was gone. I felt sick, as I was told if that ever happened they would just take them back to the school. I knew Quinn was probably sad and scared. I called the school and the lady that took the paper I signed and said she would fax it in yesterday, answered. I told her what happened, and she got a hold of the bus garage. She called me back and said that they would just swing back by in five minutes and that it was her fault as she put it by the fax machine and forgot about it. I know that kind of stuff happens, and I know she felt bad, so I just told her it was fine, even though I felt frantic for Quinn. I waited at the bus stop for Quinn and when he came off I could tell he was worried. I just picked him up told him I was sorry, what happened, and shed a few tears, since he told me he was scared and sad and was fighting back tears himself, and I carried that cute 6 year old all the way home in my pregnant state. I felt so bad for him. I'm sure my pregnant hormonal self had nothing to do with my emotions.

I've actually had a dream when I napped one day that I didn't wake up and he didn't get picked up. I've been a little nervous since, and one of the other reasons I figure why not sign the paper. It's not like I would never be home when they got here.

Love it!

I just felt the baby kick me twice in a row! I love it! I've been feeling the baby for the last week, but it's usually just one time and usually just once a day. I'm 16 weeks today (no pic since I sat around in jammie's today, I'll have to take one tomorrow), and I'm so excited for the movement to get more frequent and stronger. There is nothing more exciting then the baby moving. I always love it and miss it after delivery. This time it's extra special since it lets me know this baby is growing and things are going as they should be. I pray this baby will be healthy and strong and things will continue to go as they are supposed to.

15 Weeks

and 2 days...again. :)

Well I didn't get this up earlier this week, so I better get it done now. I still took this picture 2 days late, but I didn't want to do another gross ugly night picture. (And the lighting in the picture is just so much better with some natural light coming into the window.) I also have a feeling these posts will take over my blog, since I never seem to blog otherwise! I need/want to catch up sooo bad!

So anyways, I've been feeling like I'm more energetic again and getting out of the really sleepy stage, besides going to bed too late and waking up too early to get the kids off to school. I need to kick that habit! I had a little bit of a scare one morning when I noticed some blood in the toilet (tmi!), but then figured it was from my urine and I had a UTI. 

I'm pretty sure I've felt the baby several times this week. I love when it gets to this point. There is nothing like feeling the life growing inside and enjoying the movements. I can't wait for the regular movements when I can just lay down at night and enjoy the life growing. 

I've felt a lot of anxiety in the beginning of the pregnancy as I was so nervous of miscarriage again. I actually felt really nauseous and sick, never throwing up, for the first 4-6 weeks. I've never been sick in any of my pregnancies, only very occasionally nauseous, so that was really weird and annoying. I freaked out the day before Thanksgiving, as I realized that I wasn't feeling sick anymore, and other pregnancy symptoms I had weren't barely there, and I was afraid I was going to miscarry. Luckily the next week was my first appointment and ultrasound and everything was fine. I still felt very anxious since it was so early in the pregnancy, but last week after my appointment and hearing the heartbeat again, I have felt a lot less anxious this week. I'm starting to enjoy the thought of the baby growing, instead of having anxiety that it's going to end.

While we were home for Christmas, Winston started saying to me, "you fat". Haha! When I told him it's not nice to say I'm fat, because I would never want him to say such a thing to anyone else, he just shakes his head and says, "no, baby in tummy". It is so funny, it makes me laugh. Now he's started saying, "you fat" and "cute baby" to my belly. He also tells me it's a baby boy and it's name is "Win", which is one of his nicknames. It is too funny. He will talk to my belly and say, "hi Win" and just keep referring to it as "Win". It is so funny. He was also trying to tell me he wanted to see the baby today, and through our "conversation" which means, he is trying to talk to me, and he uses lots of hand signals, he makes a hand motion that he wants the baby to come out of my mouth. So apparently he thinks I'm going to throw up the baby in the end. Ha!

All the boys are so excited for this baby to get here, and they still have quite the wait ahead of them. Malcolm tells me he is going to hold and carry the baby for me all the time. I know he is going to be a great help to me. Quinn is so anxious for it to get here already. He talks to my belly and tells the baby that he's Quinn and tells it hello and goodbye, and explains to it that he has to go to school but will be back. He asks me questions like, if the baby can hear in my tummy, that's why he talks to it now, and if the baby can smell or breathe and such things. It's really different in a good way, as in fun, to be having a baby with these older boys. When I had Winston, Malcolm was the same age that Winston will be, so he didn't have the excitement that he has now. Quinn was pretty much oblivious to the whole thing, beside being told their was a baby in my tummy. It's fun to hear them talk about it now and ask questions. 

I am constantly referring to the baby as "he" and "baby brother", I don't even think about it when I say it. I just cannot deny that this is going to be boy #4. My hopes of a baby girl were dashed with Winston, and although I still want a girl, I just know it's a very slim chance I will ever have that chance. But we didn't want another baby in hopes for a girl, we just know that our family wasn't finished yet. So we'll find out for sure in about 4 weeks when I get my ultrasound on February 16th. :)

14 Weeks

and 2 days! :)

(Please keep in mind that I decided to take this picture at 9:30pm and it's a self portrait. I was so tempted to photoshop myself all up, but I'm keeping it real!)

I'm huge, already! (I'm trying to remind myself, it's my 4th baby, and I had extra weight on me to begin with, which I'm not proud of!) I wasn't showing much, until we went home for Christmas and my stomach popped out! At my appointment today, my doctor said from my last appointment (Dec 1st) until today, I'd only gained 2.2 lbs, so I guess it's not from much weight gain. Which is good considering it was the holidays and I'm pregnant.

I hate self portraits, I am not a photogenic person, but I took weekly pictures with Winston, and I wanted to start doing it again. Despite the horrible pictures with Winston, it has been fun to go back and see the progress I made during the last half of his pregnancy (since I didn't start the pictures until 23 weeks). I wanted to start pictures earlier than this, but I couldn't bring myself to take any until tonight.

I got to listen to the heartbeat again today. It brought more relief and is helping to relieve the anxiety I have felt ever since I took a pregnancy test. Since I had miscarriages last year, I was trying really hard to not get my hopes up. When I got the ultrasound at 9 weeks, I was relieved to see there was a baby with a heartbeat, but I was still anxious since I was only 9 weeks. So being 14 weeks and still a heartbeat, I'm feeling a little better that this will bring us a baby. I just hope for a healthy baby and a healthy me!